so I just want to write something down

I been pretty busy recently. I'm taking 17 credit hours, and I'm not doing so good in school. I have so much to get done, but I never have enough times. Finally I think I just need to pause and ponder for a seconds, because life is just going too fast for me. This is the perfect time to start a blog, and write somethings down. haha

I guess I'm just going start of writing about what I been learning.

Genesis 11:4 "Come let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heaven"

I heard about this verse during CCF meeting, and then I imediately thinks about Isaiah 14:12-13

"O morning star, son of the dawn!
You said in your heart,
I will ascend to heaven;
I will raise my throne above the stars of God,
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,
on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain."

Don't we sound just like Satan. I think that Genesis 11 is a good representation of how men are slave by Satan. The pride in our life blinds us, and eventually lead us into a pit. Though the tower was never able to complete, because God scatter men all over the earth. I think the tower of babel still exist, which reside in our heart.

I'm not a arrogance person! Instead, I have a very low self esteem. But I have this tower of babel in my heart, and continue to builds up. No one has ever witness such contrustion. The tower only reavel itself when I feeling very very depress. And I am depress now.............

When I'm feeling down, I don't go to God directly. I look for pleasure, comfort, and Satan. Usually I thinks about getting drunk, party, and forget all of my struggle. I fall into masturbration, and pornographic. I constantly looking for excuses for sining. The point is that, why don't I just go to God and pray about it? That is because I continue to build a tower of babel inside of me. I rather licks off my wound, than surrendering myself to God.

This is my relationship with Christ. Normally, I am a typical Christian. I mean I like to pray, worship, and just passionate for Christ. It's not like that during the times of depression. We are call to share our life with Christ. Sharing is not bunch of need to do list. Sharing don't just happen in church, and quiet times. Wether happiness or sorrow, we are to share with Christ I want to share my life with Jesus Christ, I want him to be in every parts of my life. So I pray that next spiritual attack, I'll be able to endure in Christ.

Tipsy Tuesday with George and Matt has been pretty awesome. I really learned a lot from two of my best friends. Ben Warnick and Matt's family are comming this weekend. Ha, I just can't wait to see Ben's sad face. There is no way that Marshall win. We just beat State, and It's homecoming. So ha ECU will dominate the game.